He's The Girl
by Thunderclapped
Summary: Harry is gay. Malfoy's on a Quidditch team. Harry covers for friend on the team. The usual mismash, something about Oliver Wood because he's hot and a slew of nonsense. H/D, of course. M for jerking off, methinks.


To my darling AWESOME **justme_jane** , I hope this suffices for a first chapter.  
:D  
Enjoy.  
Oh, and it all started on livejournal.

TO ALL THOSE THAT HAVE ME ON AUTHOR ALERT.

I THANK YE AND HOPE NOT TO DISAPPOINT.

-

It was nine in the morning. _So Fetch_, the (muggle) indie coffee café, was relatively peaceful. Schubert's Heavenly Tedious played softly out of large bass speakers next to the condiments counter. Of course, the peace was shattered by a loud sound from the boy and girl in the corner. Sebastian, the owner of the café, glared at them. The dark-haired girl with violet eyes blinked innocently at him, though the boy looked positively scandalized. Sebastian sighed and went back to operating the coffee machine. Kids these days had no consideration for Schubert at all. What would Schumann think?

-

"You want me to WHAT?" Harry said loudly. Ace shushed him. He stared at her like she was crazy. Which she was, actually. No one, no one, not even this innocent-looking girl, could ask such a thing of him. No. Never.

"Please?" Harry shook his head. Ace pouted over the rim of her coffee mug. That was the beauty of indie coffee places. They still served coffee in mugs. Mmm.

"You know that doesn't work on me; I'm gay."

"That's why I'm asking you to do this! Please?"

"For the last time, I'm not covering up for you on your team. If you want to go perform in San Diego, just go at some time that doesn't clash with the match!" Ace pretty-please-pouted at him, throwing in her patented I'm-tilting-my-head-to-coerce-you-into-doing-something-bad-for-me-because-I'm-so-cute-look for good measure. Harry continued glaring at her.

"I can't! The match can't be rescheduled and you know how much this band competition means to me!" Harry's glare softened slightly.

"Alright, but if I get caught you're so going down." Ace grinned and got up from her beanbag, blowing him a kiss. Harry saw the few grubby notes she threw in the tip bottle float down slowly, and sighed.

"Maybe if you play me well enough, Draco will fall for you."

"Shut up and go pack already, why don't you?"

"Ooh, touchy."

-

"Here, I bought some Polyjuice Potion. It's in the stasis state, so if you want to activate it just drop a hair inside." Harry scowled at her half-heartedly. Ace grinned, passing him the waterproof mokeskin hip flask.  
"Mokeskin, just in case anyone wants to know the secret in it." Harry took the flask and grinned, before stepping forward to hug her. Ace slung her guitar bag casually over a shoulder and waved, flashing her passport at the stunned security officer before heading to the inner Departure Lobby of the Wizarding airport. Harry turned to leave but he was stopped by a yell from inside the lobby.

"SAN DIEGO HERE I COME! WATCH OUT KIRLEY DUKE, THE NEXT FAMOUS GUITARIST IS HERE!"

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Oh… hello." Draco screamed at Ace's bed. God, he hated it when that girl overslept. A dark head peeked out of the blankets, and only hair was visible. God, he could swear that her hair was getting more like Potter's everyday. Potter. Oh, no, Draco didn't want to go into that territory now. Erections could bloody well wait till after he woke up his lazy bitch of a teammate.

"What?" The voice sounded oddly harsh and deeper than usual. Draco frowned and made to pull the blankets back. There was a squeak and the blankets covered Ace's entire head again.

"C'nya pass me m' mokeskin flask?" Maybe she was drunk. Not again. Draco got up and retrieved the flask from the table and passed it to the waiting left hand. Draco mentally reviewed what just happened. Wait, didn't Ace have a beauty mark at the base of her left palm? He jumped up and pulled the blankets away forcefully to expose… Ace. She glared up at him through slitted eyes.

"My eyes!" She said dramatically, covering them with the back of her arm. "They burn." Draco glanced at her palm. The mole was there. Strange…

"I'll be outside. Wood says to be ready in half an hour." Draco left to clear his head and think about what just happened.

-

Ace/ Harry sat up and heaved a sigh of relief. And he looked down and a mix of not very nice feelings invaded his head (not nausea, it was too strong) and he thought, oh, shit. He was going to bathe with her body. Ugh! Ace would be so disgusted with the idea as well. Harry dug in Ace's Sex Drawer (he had found that while searching for the Cutlery Drawer- somehow, Ace found it necessary to label everything in capital letters) and found the blindfold. Harry grinned. He knew how to use this.  
"_Bandez- les yeuxmoi!_"

-

Draco leaned against the wall next to Ace's door and resisted the urge to wank. God, just thinking about Potter got him hard. He imagined Potter pressing up against him, his pretty little mouth open in the sexiest gasp Draco had ever heard, Potter bending over just for him… Draco shuddered in pleasure as he gripped his own cock and started stroking. Uh-oh, social suicide, doing this out here in the corridor, anyone could see-

"Fuck, Potter!" Draco cried out, coming apart as the image of Potter licking his cock came to mind. Those long sooty lashes, perfect green eyes beckoning to him- fuck if Potter wasn't gorgeous. Draco cast a cleaning charm on the corridor carpet and his clothes, thankful that no one had passed by to see that.

-

Ace/Harry adjusted the bra. How did women wear these? Of course he was still wearing the blindfold. Luckily, he had seen Ginny perform spells to fix them at the back. He was distracted by hammering at his, er, her, door.

"Hurry up, Ace! It's been fifteen minutes!" Draco yelled on the other side. Harry gulped and spelled the bra to fit Ace's assets, mumbled _enlevez-vous, les yeux bandés_ under his breath and slipped on the maroon jersey. He pulled the white pants on, tied the laces on the sneakers, remembered to shrink and pocket the hipflask and went outside. Draco was leaning against the wall, grinning at him. Merlin, but he looked so beautiful smiling like that. Then the moment was ruined by Draco shoving him playfully.

"You're such a slowpoke, Ace. Thank Merlin you're not like that on the field." Or in bed, Harry thought with a giggle. "I'm so much faster than you, ferret-boy." Draco stopped in his tracks and turned, a strange expression on his face. Harry felt queasy, he had let too much slip out, oh, no, Ace was going to be found out and-

"I guess Potter told you about that time, huh." Harry just managed to nod and force a smile on his face. Draco sighed and walked on.

"I think you and him are too chummy." Harry grinned. "Jealous of me now, are you?" Draco snorted and walked ahead but didn't contradict him. Hmm.

-

"I didn't let you guys into Puddlemere United to slack! Chin up, suck it in, team!" Oliver yelled. Harry tried to stand straight, but the weather was terrible. The field looked bleak; its grass was a duller green than that of Hogwarts' field. "Stick it out, Ace!" Oliver yelled from up the row.

"Stop flirting with her already, Oli!" Bradley, a tall, brawny blond Blind-Side Beater with a crew cut joked loudly. He was easily a head taller than Ace. He was probably half a head taller than Harry himself. Oliver froze in his tracks, but turned to grin at Bradley.

"Since you're so smart, kick it off and bring it back." Oliver released the Bludger from the case and smirked at Bradley, who grabbed his broom and club and went off, muttering something like "bloody Oli" and other things just as detrimental. Draco snickered and Oliver turned on him immediately.

"Okay, this is getting out of hand. TEAM!" Oliver yelled. "In the air! Now!" Everyone sighed and straddled their brooms. This was going to be a long training session.

Note: Kirley Duke is the guitarist of The Weird Sisters.  
Chapter 2 depends on when I can finish my Trigonometry assignment, lawl.  
Oh, and Ace is bisexual. I think.


End file.
